When I bought my clapped out house at the start of 2024 I gave myself that year to complete the renovations. Of course, I hadn’t expected to be diagnosed with a brain tumour, or have an infection which temporarily paralysed half my face, or for the breakdown of two relationships, so the year didn’t quite go according to plan but I’m proud of the fact that I still managed to almost finish at least the inside of the house last year – it’s a massive achievement. I’m currently painting the lounge and the carpet is booked for the end of January. After that, although not a single room is finished, the bulk of the work is done.

After caring for other people for well over a decade, I made a solemn promise to myself that 2025 would be the year I finally concentrated on me and I have already made a start this week by joining the local artists network and in September will be taking part in the Eden Art Trail. I’m so looking forward to meeting other local creatives and pursuing new challenges, including booking space for some of my images in a local Gallery.

My head is buzzing with ideas for new pictures and I’ve found some much needed new models, including 3 young children, a beautiful young woman and a handsome new man (getting men to model I’ve always found to be a huge challenge!). I’m conscious that the deadline for the 2025 Fine Art Photography Awards is only a month away and I’m now in a rush to create a serious of 3 pictures which formed in my mind during last summer. No clue if I’ll get them done in time, or if they’ll turn out OK, but I’m determined to at least try!

Time is a constant challenge for me. I’m aware that I have a deep need each day for down time – space for quiet contemplation, rest and grounding meditation – and it’s been incredibly difficult while renovating my house to fit that in. But it’s vital to my wellbeing and something I need to focus on this year. When I’m stressed (and there have been times this past year when I’ve been stressed to my eyeballs, even if I always appear calm!) self-care goes out the window. I struggle to eat properly and my sleep gets disrupted, both of which affect my ability to function well in the world. This needs to change and has to be a priority no matter what else is happening.

Of course, I also need to find space for mundane things like housework and laundry. Then much, much more important things like relationships and friendships. It’s easy to become self-absorbed when you’re busy doing the things you love, but whenever I find myself thinking I don’t have space for a relationship I’m reminded of the story of Chris McCandless, an adventurer chasing his dream in the Alaskan wilderness. He refused all offers of companionship, dedicating himself solely to the pursuit of that which made him happy, and died desperate, injured and alone. One of his final diary entries read:

I remind myself that my camera and my nice new house won’t care if I’m happy or not. They won’t snuggle me at night, be concerned for my wellbeing, laugh with me or cry with me, and they certainly won’t be holding my hand when I die. We need people for that. And when we find that rarest of gifts – someone we love and who loves us back – nothing…….and I mean nothing…….is more important.

On that note I shall close, get myself a brew and a banana and, while we have frost on the ground, make a start on the first picture in my new series. I dread to think what the new neighbours will make of me -much like the old neighbours I imagine, who thought I was ever so slightly bonkers 😉. I’ll probably get hypothermia, but it won’t be the first time I’ve ventured outside in sub zero temperatures and barely any clothes to create an image, and it probably won’t be my last. I’m looking forward to the challenge.