Abuse: Obsession & Surveillance
This is a difficult subject to write about. I can only speak of my own experiences and share my own personal views – I don’t claim to cover the topic in depth or to speak for other victims of stalking or their experiences. I do, however, stand in empathy and solidarity. I was bullied for…
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Love Is A Verb
I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve had relationships with who have claimed to love me then acted in ways which have been anything but loving. It’s been very confusing and causes what psychologists call cognitive dissonance, ie holding two opposing beliefs or thoughts at the same time. They love me but they…
Gratitude: Rainy Days
What do you do on a rainy Tuesday, as soft mist obscures the distant hills and drizzle coats the window panes? You listen to Vivaldi, the notes strumming through your veins, every cell in your body vibrating like your own nerves are being bowed. Pink and yellow synaesthesia Quavers float in the air, visible only…
Intuition
I was chatting to a friend last weekend who, like me, has the trait of High Sensitivity. She is a bundle of joy, warmth and empathy and is clearly very emotionally sensitive so I said to her “you must pick up vibes from people that tell you they’re not very nice” to which she replied…
Gratitude: Belonging
Several years ago I had my DNA tested. It told me I am 95% British & Irish (I have red hair in my family so the Irish wasn’t exactly a shock) and almost 5% Scandinavian. The area where I live has the highest percentage of Scandinavian DNA in the country, a relic from the Viking…
The Butterfly House
Last year, I wrote a post over on my Photography blog about the fact that I’d found two dozen butterflies in my house during the summer. It was highly unusual but to be fair there were plenty of ways they could have gotten in, not least that the doors were constantly left open for workmen…
DARVO
This is a very long post. Grab a brew! DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender and is a psychological manipulation tactic used by offenders, toxic or abusive people to evade responsibility and shift blame onto their victim. Deny: The perpetrator denies that the harmful behaviour or event happened.Attack: The perpetrator attacks the…
Signs: Birthday Wishes
I celebrated my birthday last week. I was born in the morning, so around the time of my birth I wanted to visit my Mum’s grave to share that part of my day with her. I got in my car, started the engine and said out loud: “if you’re with me Mum, send me a…
Be The Light
Why am I so open about my life, particularly my experiences of childhood and relationship abuse? Am I “over-sharing”, still traumatised, unhealthily angry, going over ancient history as some form of continued internal punishment, or in publicly speaking about these issues am I taking some kind of warped revenge on the people who have hurt…
Soul Food: Peace
On Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, once the fundamental needs for food, water, oxygen, shelter, clothing & sleep have been met, psychological and physical safety and security become a priority. This explicitly includes both protection from danger and peace of mind, ie freedom from fear, anxiety and chaos. There is only so long a person can…
All Change
It is my belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and part of being human involves inhabiting a physical body. That body is a culmination of all the ancestors who have gone before us and much of the human experience we have is shaped by our genes and innate makeup. I was…
The Mask
We all wear a mask when in public. It helps society run smoothly, protects our privacy and allows us to function in the world. It’s only in private where it’s safe to be vulnerable and our truest selves. However, for decades I didn’t truly know who I was. I knew I wasn’t quite like the…
Lucky’s New Home
Regular followers of my blog will know that when I moved into my current house I inherited a goldfish that the previous owners had left behind but not told me about. I named her Lucky because I didn’t know about her for ages, she didn’t get fed and she lived in a tiny, shallow belfast…
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