So far, 2024 has been quite the year for me. After two years of domestic abuse and horrendously stressful legal action by my step-father in respect to the estate of my beloved late Mum, I was finally freed from his shackles at the end of February. I’ve lived through more in my life than most people ever have to contemplate, and done so with resilience, strength and grace, yet the family and Carer stress I was under during 2021 and 2022 nearly broke me.

I moved house at the start of March and am now living in filth and chaos as I renovate my new home. It’s been utterly exhausting, beyond stressful, getting tradesmen to do jobs has been like catching fog, and there are days I think I must have lost my mind to have taken on such a huge and expensive project on my tod. So now and again, as I’m scooping rubble out of my bath before I can get in it, I have to forcefully remind myself that it will all be worth it, especially when I have a dedicated photography room in which to follow my passion!

I’d only been in the new house a week when I had quite a serious accident, in which I tripped and face planted in the driveway. I fractured my cheekbone (7 weeks on and it’s still not healed), bruised my ribs, sprained my wrist and, although I didn’t know this at the time, dislodged the gel in my right eyeball which potentially could have led to a detached retina. Yet in true Jo fashion I simply carried on like nothing had happened and the next day was chipping tiles off the bathroom walls (though admittedly crying the entire time in both shock, pain and self pity)!!

In amongst all this, and just 4 days after my accident, my boyfriend dumped me utterly out of the blue. To say it was a shock is the understatement of the century, particularly as he’d spent the week before at my new house helping me move and settle in, there were no signs he had any issues in our relationship and we had just booked a holiday together. He’s basically refused to speak to me from that day to this and he absolutely broke my heart.

However, life is short and precious so I moved on. I met another man who I had an amazing connection with, who blew hotter and colder than faulty air con and who broke up with me for the 5th time a week before my birthday, leaving me alone and partially paralysed and without even a ‘happy birthday’ text message on my special day. I’ve treated stray dogs with more kindness.

What has all this got to do with photography I hear you cry? I am a creative photographer and like most creative people my emotions, not my imagination, drive my art. And while I discovered that grief (I have lost 2 family members, 2 close friends and even my dog in the past two years) robs you of all creative vision and desire, just about every other negative emotion fuels it. There’s a reason that the most successful songs in history are based on angst!

Following my break-ups I immediately felt the need to be creative for the first time since my Mum died and a short series of three pictures have taken root in mind. As soon as I have a Studio space in my new home I will set about producing my first real new work in 2 years, at a time when I wondered if I even wanted to continue with my photography.

So, in the words of Jamelia, what I have to say to the two men who broke my heart is Thank You. You have pulled me out of the creative desert which grief had placed me in and without the tears I shed over you both I may have remained wandering barefoot and bewildered in the sand 🙏.
Important note: there was no absolutely no physical abuse in either relationship.