Science has come up with all sorts of theories for why we dream, but the truth is nobody knows. Occasionally there is a clear correlation between my dreams and events going on in my life, but most of the time they bear no resemblance. I’ve watched both my dog and my pony dream and I’m fairly sure neither of them had stressful situations to work through while they slept – my most recent dog, in particular, was spoiled rotten and lived the life of Riley.

From as early as I can remember I have had parasomnias. Even before the age of 5 I was a sleep walker, to the point where my Mum had to put a baby gate at the top of the stairs because she was worried I’d fall down them and kill myself in the night. In my twenties I lit matches in my sleep and set fire to something on the coffee table – I could have burned the house down!

My later adulthood has been characterised by sleep writing, a fairly rare parasomnia. Sometimes it’s just gobbledygook, but often times not. This week I wrote “you have to reclaim what is yours or you will lose it”. Profound!

My teenage years and early adulthood were marked by night terrors. I had a bed which faced a long window which reached almost to the floor. I woke one night, heart pounding, knowing there was someone stood behind my bedroom curtains and then a man leapt out and I knew he was going to kill me. I woke up and thought “oh thank God it was just a dream!” and eventually went back to sleep, only for the same dream to replay only this time, in my dream, I thought “oh God, my dream was a premonition and it’s actually happening!”. That was 30 years ago and I still remember that dream like it happened yesterday. Another time I woke screaming and flailing as I’d been covered in spiders while I slept – I hate spiders.

If you Google ‘dream meanings’ there are all sorts of explanations for the things we dream, but who comes up with these? Who is deciding what dreaming of spiders signifies, if it signifies anything at all? If nobody knows why we dream how can we make assumptions about the meaning of our dreams?

As a human, I’m fairly unique in terms of sleep. When I had my brain injury it affected my sleep severely. To this day I’ve never heard or read of anyone who has had the level of insomnia I had. I once went 3 weeks without sleeping at all, which is supposed to be impossible. My body broke down as it was not being repaired and my skin peeled off like you see when someone is sunburned. I was sent to hospital for an overnight sleep study which showed I barely slept, then I was sent home and put on drugs, none of which made me sleep. One night I was so desperate I took 11 sleeping pills (at that stage I was so ill I didn’t care if I overdosed and died) but still didn’t sleep. You can actually die from not sleeping – Google Fatal Familial Insomnia. I sleep much better these days thankfully but my smart watch still shows I have very little deep sleep (which only ever takes place right at the start of the night) and often long periods spent in REM.

What I learned from my 3 weeks of not sleeping is that humans have to dream. It’s somehow vital to our survival. So even though I was still awake, I dreamt. I would lie there with my eyes closed and vivid dream states playing out somewhere in my consciousness. Very disconcerting.

From being a young child I’ve had a recurring, lucid dream of being a young soldier in World War I. I was captured on a battlefield by the Germans and held in a prisoner of war camp. I tried to escape and being as though that’s where the dream always ends I’m guessing I was killed during my escape attempt. At the age of 7 or 8 I knew nothing about the First World War yet could have told you exactly what my uniform looked like and that of the German soldiers. Is it a coincidence that I was drawn to study German at school?

I frequently wake with scratches on my back in places I could not have inflicted myself.

I’ve mentioned in other posts that I recently had a Twin Flame relationship, during which we shared a dream. Neither of us had even heard of shared dreams, yet both had the same dream during which each other appeared. I could honestly kick that man for dumping me because our connection would have been fascinating to expand and study. However, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, even if the parched horse has been searching for an oasis his whole life.

In what realm of consciousness do dreams take place? If we are unconscious how can we have such vivid experiences and why, for the most part, don’t we recall or remember our dreams on waking? We remember thoughts we have while awake, so why not when we are sleeping? What are shared dreams about? What space do we both inhabit for shared dreams to take place? Why is dreaming vital to our human survival? I have no answers to any of these questions and sadly neither does anyone else. Sleeping and dreaming, for the most part, is still a mystery.