When I first became involved in photography I was obsessed. Every spare waking minute was spent either taking photographs, editing them or watching videos online about how to improve my skills – I barely watched TV for 5 years! But then life got complicated. The Covid Pandemic arrived, then my Mum fell, broke her spine and became bedridden. Then she died. I moved house and have spent 2 years renovating my home which still isn’t finished. I was then diagnosed with yet another serious health issue. Photography has very much taken a back seat.

Last week was ridiculously busy, albeit huge fun. I travelled hundreds of miles, learned new non-photography related skills, am preparing for 2 committee meetings this coming week, a new volunteer role, designing advertising literature, and there was still the usual chores of daily life to attend to like shopping, cooking, laundry and housework not to mention the never-ending volley of Whatsapp messages and emails which ping all day long to my inbox.

I’m really tired today. But despite knowing that I’m at the end of my energy limits I still feel guilty for not spending my time editing the thousands of photos sitting on my laptop, not the least of which are shots I took at St Bees Head recently on an outing with my camera club. Everyone else seems to find time to edit their images but to me it just seems like yet anther chore to add to my never-decreasing To Do list.

Today I’ve had to remind myself that photography is a hobby, not a job. I have no obligation to take or create pictures. It should be something I do because it’s fun and I want to, not because I feel I ought to. It should be something I do to relax, not something which adds to my already overwhelmed or pressured shoulders.

Other people may have time to spend weeks away on photography holidays or hours editing their images every day, but we do not live the same lives, or have the same health, the same commitments or the same domestic circumstances. I have to learn to be kinder to myself and not feel guilty for slobbing in front of the telly watching Netflix for a day or three. Neither my photos nor my skills are going anywhere.

I spent a decade taking care of my elderly parents and it was utterly exhausting. After my Mum died I promised myself that I would create a more balanced life, one that contained activity, yes, but also quiet time to think and reflect, space to learn new skills and pursue new interests, time to spend in nature, and time for self care which in the last 2 years has been in very short supply. I want a well rounded existence.

So this post is to anyone out there feeling like they’re overwhelmed and not doing everything on their Wish List. Relax. Breathe. Turn off your Whatsapp notifications. Make hot tea. Eat chocolate. Have a soothing bath. Get into your pjs at 6pm. Watch the rain fall. Read a book. Snuggle your loved ones. Treat yourself as your own beloved child.