Most of us, when we’re young adults, are full of purpose. We may be studying, pursuing career advancement, building a home or starting a family. When we get older, however, it can become more challenging to find purpose to our days.

The beginnings of middle age for me, when I turned 50, were stupidly busy. Women of my age are often sandwiched between caring for teenage children and caring for older parents and I certainly fell into the latter category as I had a Mum who became very disabled. But while caring for other people is a kind and loving act it’s not a raison d’être. What happens when children leave the nest or parents die? We have to have personal purpose which benefits us not others.

I’m fascinated by the number of older people who, after retirement, want to travel. For me, while visiting foreign lands may provide temporary enjoyment it doesn’t provide purpose or meaning. As a young woman I travelled to over 40 countries as I used to work on a cruise liner and can honestly say with hand on heart there is nowhere on earth I’d rather be than home. Because I’m living an authentic life I have no hamster wheel I need to get off, no people I need distance from, no stressors I need to offload and if I did I’d tackle that rather than looking for ways to temporarily escape.

I’ve spent the last 2½ years renovating my house. It’s been incredibly tiring and there have been occasional times it’s been stressful, particularly when I had my brain tumour diagnosis and months of paralysis, but on the whole I’ve loved every second. It’s taught me so much about myself, not least that I need a project. One that’s creative and has a definite end product.

With the inside of the house 95% finished, this Spring work began on the outside. I know the South of England in particular has had a boiling hot and aridly dry Summer, but here in the more temperate North the weather has been almost perfect and I’ve achieved so much even I am amazed.

My patio has been re-laid and pointed, I now have a gorgeous 4m pond with visiting dragonflies and lily flowers, new patio doors are about to be fitted in the bedroom, a new outside utility space has been created, the privacy and security fencing has been finished, garden furniture painted, flower borders dug and planted, the driveway tarmacked (good job I have a man with a van to take the old chippings away as they covered 150m² and even I couldn’t have fit all that in the boot of my hatchback 😉), some small repairs done to the roof (although in a couple of years I’m planning on replacing the current old tiled one with Lakeland slate) and the builder is here on Tuesday to lay new pavers on the path to the front door. To most people I’m sure all these things sound desperately dull, but building the foundations properly means both the house and I are secure and safe.

There are other jobs, like building a drystone boundary wall, laying decking around the pond and painting the back walls of the house which haven’t been done yet, but this just means I have more purpose for next summer 😁.

My friends are all laughingly asking when I’m moving, but my ageing body can’t cope with another large project although I’m wondering if it would be a nice idea to have a conservatory on the back of the house where we can sit during winter and still enjoy the view, tranquillity and nature 🤔😂

I was essentially homeless as a child for 2 years, so to create a home from almost scratch has been deeply meaningful. I’ve chosen every switch, door, cabinet, floor tile, handle and socket placement and my home has been built with my own energy, graft and unique spirit. The front may still be ugly, though that’s something I can change in the future, but as I lay in bed last night, with the curtains open onto a vast starry sky, listening to the distant call of a Tawny Owl and with a breeze gently blowing through the open patio doors I felt such fulfilment. Soul food.

Of course, our purpose is unique to us and what fulfils me won’t fulfil someone else, but we all need one. Without purpose our days are filled with the mundane or living vicariously through others. Time passes so quickly and before we know it our bodies, and possibly our minds, will no longer function as they once did. I want to enjoy a purposeful life while I am still blessed with the opportunity. What brings purpose to your life?