I’m starting this post with some boring housekeeping. Having heard back from Admin, if you subscribe to my website via email there should now be a footer at the bottom of every email where you can select which blog you want to subscribe to: my photography blog, my soul & spirit blog, both, or the option to unsubscribe entirely. Note: having now published this post I’m aware that no such choice appeared in the email, so I’ll get back to Admin to find out what I’ve done wrong!

On to more interesting topics. Despite a fresh fall of snow this week on the fells and a sprinkling on the ground, there are early signs that Spring is just around the corner. I went for my first meander of the year down by my favourite river on Friday and spotted the return of Oystercatchers 🙂. There was also a flock of Greylag Geese in the adjoining field, though as yet I haven’t seen any returning Lapwings, with their stunning aerial displays and distinctive call.

While I personally think Winter has its own unique joys, by February most of us have had enough rain and grey skies and are longing for the warmer weather to arrive. We actually had proper sunshine this weekend for the first time since the start of January, although it was still face numbingly cold (sorry about the state of the pictures, they’re just snapped on my phone).

I’ve sown the first seeds of my summer bedding plants for the garden this week (Cosmos & Sweet Peas) which are already starting to germinate in the warmth of my kitchen windowsill. It felt so nice to have soil under my finger nails again!

I’ve also made huge strides with my photography room in the last month, which is now decorated, ceiling lights and window blinds are up and the new flooring is down. I’m now just waiting for the joiner to make me some custom doors for the cupboards and finish some other bits ‘n bobs, after which the plumber can come and re-fit the radiator and I’m done! The majority of the renovations have been mind-numbingly boring and the only way I’ve gotten through has been by listening to podcasts, audiobooks and music. One of my favourite radio stations is Magic Soul and a couple of this week’s favourite tracks are below for your delight. The first is ‘Missin’ You’ by the Tony Rich Project, which reminded me I used to love some of the songs on his album ‘Words’ but haven’t listened to it in donkeys years, and the second is a 1970s throw back from Fern Kinney. Got nothing done while this was on as I was too busy dancing 😁 I actually have this track on vinyl single in a box somewhere….

It will be 2 years on 11th March since I moved in to the house and I had no clue the renovations would take this long. Mind you, I had no clue I’d be diagnosed with a brain tumour or have to cope with paralysis and relationship break-ups in amongst it all either, so there’s that.

Speaking of break-ups, I was contacted by an old friend this week about one of my ex-boyfriends. Within a year after we broke up he was married, but his new Wife’s family are concerned that he is showing some controlling behaviour and she is being isolated from them. My friend needed to know if I were aware of any red flags and I had to tell her that before I met him he’d been in a seriously abusive marriage for nearly 4 decades and I genuinely think he ended our relationship because he started to show some controlling behaviour and I called him out on it. Abusers look for 2 types of partners: one who is also toxic (avoidant attachment style or a personality disorder) or one who is co-dependent, lacking in self worth and will tolerate the abuse. I don’t fit the bill for either. When he dumped me out of the blue I was devastated, but looking back 2 years later I thank God every day. Abusers lack accountability for their behaviour. They insist you were the problem and to re-enforce this manipulation tactic they ensure you know they are blissfully happy in their next relationship. So they either deliberately singled you out for abuse while treating everyone else well, just let that sink in, or much more likely they abuse all their partners. Statistically, only 7% of abusers make any significant and lasting changes to their behaviour, even with specialist, prolonged and targeted therapy. Most abusers don’t seek help as they don’t recognise or accept their behaviour as abusive, particularly if it causes emotional or psychological harm rather than physical.

I’ll end on a more positive note. Now I have my photo room mostly up and running I’ll be in there this week making a couple of new pictures which have been in my head for months. I’m so excited to re-start my creative photography, and to finally have a dedicated space is one of my dreams come true 😊